Well now that you know who has pretty much run out of options to terrorize me with it is time to start blogging again. Writing is something to be enjoyed!
Been thinking a lot about of couple of conversations of the week... why thought provoking? Because the reality is that there are areas of being me that need work. Sometimes the things that people say stick in your head because they need to for your personal growth. But there is also a lot to learn about other people from it. And then there is the other conversation that threw me for such a loop not quite sure how to process it. Let's start with that one.
I met this truly exceptional person in Jupiter Florida a number of years back, friend of mine introduced us when I was working on the original jeans company. She is a basketball nut, sunshine loving, sweetheart of a person and we've always had a lot of good laughs because frankly there is a lot of commonality in the humor. She called me up and asked me how I was doing, and fine was the answer. How are you? Was not allowed to ask, was told that it was time for me to talk about me. Did not want to talk about me but wasn't left with a choice. That opportunity is open to me a lot during the day and frankly wanted to know what was going on with her, wouldn't go there. So for the next 20-30 minutes it was a ramble about Nathaniel, Artistic Highways, and new people in my life. It was kind of a normal conversation until the following... Dave you are such an amazing father, your son will never forget how good you are to him. Every time when I needed someone to pick me up you've always been there and you are the most amazing friend, almost always you are positive and happy and inspirational. I begged to differ but heard the same speech again. I said thank you. It was actually more over the top than that but that is enough. It left me feeling odd and for the life of me why...
It took me some time to figure it out and frankly it wasn't until I thought of my other conversation this week that it dawned on me that the universe was trying to give me a message. The sentence was close to this, Dave let me finish, I spent X years dating someone and they never let me finish... ran over me all the time. Of course I apologized profusely. The difference was I was excited to talk to her, always am, he on the other hand did not respect her. I do. And in thinking about this it dawned on me in my years of dating and marriage I was never treated that way. Think I'd gotten to the point I heard negativity when there was none. There was no negativity here. Could it be a new normal is waiting for me? Both things were said nicely. And by the way I apologized for any future occurrences because when I get excited my mouth engages at times ahead of my brain or ears. Working on that one.
And then I did he other dumb thing I do which is to not come straight and compliment someone. Working on that. But I hope I did recover. Didn't sugar coat it. Expressed my gratitude and how flattered I was about something without holding anything back. For me this is a lot of baby steps.
It feels like the next chapter is beginning. It seems my life has occurred in major phase changes. From tech to banking, back to tech, and now to the arts. It is an interesting swimming pool that fate has pushed me into. Frankly it is so awesome here it is apparent to me that the universe knew the beauty of it would have been lost on me before. In many ways I feel like a kid again. Steep learning curve, tons of challenges, dancing again, singing again, and think my dream may come true after all.
So what is that dream. I told a therapist 7.5 years ago in answer to the question 'why are you here and what do you think I can help you with?' 'I want to one day wake up in the morning next to someone I know really loves me for me. Every other dream I've had has come true so far. But frankly, I think so little of myself right now it might take a while. But I will do whatever it takes no matter how painful it is to get there.' She set me free two months ago.
I have different feelings for women now than I ever have had in my life. Some of them scare the shit out of me. Some of them make me so happy it is impossible to process them. It just feels like the universe is paving the way for that dream to come true. And it feels really strong.
Been thinking a lot about of couple of conversations of the week... why thought provoking? Because the reality is that there are areas of being me that need work. Sometimes the things that people say stick in your head because they need to for your personal growth. But there is also a lot to learn about other people from it. And then there is the other conversation that threw me for such a loop not quite sure how to process it. Let's start with that one.
I met this truly exceptional person in Jupiter Florida a number of years back, friend of mine introduced us when I was working on the original jeans company. She is a basketball nut, sunshine loving, sweetheart of a person and we've always had a lot of good laughs because frankly there is a lot of commonality in the humor. She called me up and asked me how I was doing, and fine was the answer. How are you? Was not allowed to ask, was told that it was time for me to talk about me. Did not want to talk about me but wasn't left with a choice. That opportunity is open to me a lot during the day and frankly wanted to know what was going on with her, wouldn't go there. So for the next 20-30 minutes it was a ramble about Nathaniel, Artistic Highways, and new people in my life. It was kind of a normal conversation until the following... Dave you are such an amazing father, your son will never forget how good you are to him. Every time when I needed someone to pick me up you've always been there and you are the most amazing friend, almost always you are positive and happy and inspirational. I begged to differ but heard the same speech again. I said thank you. It was actually more over the top than that but that is enough. It left me feeling odd and for the life of me why...
It took me some time to figure it out and frankly it wasn't until I thought of my other conversation this week that it dawned on me that the universe was trying to give me a message. The sentence was close to this, Dave let me finish, I spent X years dating someone and they never let me finish... ran over me all the time. Of course I apologized profusely. The difference was I was excited to talk to her, always am, he on the other hand did not respect her. I do. And in thinking about this it dawned on me in my years of dating and marriage I was never treated that way. Think I'd gotten to the point I heard negativity when there was none. There was no negativity here. Could it be a new normal is waiting for me? Both things were said nicely. And by the way I apologized for any future occurrences because when I get excited my mouth engages at times ahead of my brain or ears. Working on that one.
And then I did he other dumb thing I do which is to not come straight and compliment someone. Working on that. But I hope I did recover. Didn't sugar coat it. Expressed my gratitude and how flattered I was about something without holding anything back. For me this is a lot of baby steps.
It feels like the next chapter is beginning. It seems my life has occurred in major phase changes. From tech to banking, back to tech, and now to the arts. It is an interesting swimming pool that fate has pushed me into. Frankly it is so awesome here it is apparent to me that the universe knew the beauty of it would have been lost on me before. In many ways I feel like a kid again. Steep learning curve, tons of challenges, dancing again, singing again, and think my dream may come true after all.
So what is that dream. I told a therapist 7.5 years ago in answer to the question 'why are you here and what do you think I can help you with?' 'I want to one day wake up in the morning next to someone I know really loves me for me. Every other dream I've had has come true so far. But frankly, I think so little of myself right now it might take a while. But I will do whatever it takes no matter how painful it is to get there.' She set me free two months ago.
I have different feelings for women now than I ever have had in my life. Some of them scare the shit out of me. Some of them make me so happy it is impossible to process them. It just feels like the universe is paving the way for that dream to come true. And it feels really strong.
